For college athletic prospects, choosing friends is choosing your future

Watch who you hang with, they could help to make you or prove to break you 

We seldom read about the trouble that high school or college athletes get themselves into without learning that they were in the company of ne’er do wells at the time. Athletes are not loners, for the most part.  There’s a serious lesson to be learned from this and high school athletes should sit up and pay close attention.

High school prospects are often the center of attention in their schools and communities. They draw friends from every sect of society wanting to be associated with “the star” athlete with a future. But, if you dig deeper, it’s apparent that what attracts many hangers-on is the need to find in you what they have been unable to generate in themselves which is a vehicle to access easy street.  And that vehicle is you.

We read last week about the sorry state which former NBA All-Star Allen Iverson now finds himself. After having made millions in professional basketball, he now can’t pay his way. Critics are looking at his entourage as the culprit, but in truth, it is Iverson himself that is to blame if he has indeed run through all those paychecks and has nothing left to live on.

Iverson had choices along the way, just as you as a high school athlete has choices. Iverson elected to take care of his homeboys thinking that he needed them survive and that the money train was never going to stop. Well, it has stopped and he is left to face life without anything to show for all his hard work on the hardwood. His friends came along for the ride because he allowed it to happen. He apparently did not have the fortitude or forethought to understand that in the end he would be responsible for his own well being, not to mention the well being of his family.

Iverson’s situation is a lesson which is an open-face sandwich for everyone to see. It exposes Iverson’s world, a world in which he carried minions along whose purpose was to reach into the money bag and take what was readily available. Today’s high school athletes can learn from this, if they choose to take it to heart. Hopefully some will, but regretfully some will not. Those that do will carefully scrutinize what is going on around them, who they are associated with and where they want to be in five, ten or twenty years down the road, if not longer. It is a tough process and sometimes heart wrenching to ignore or cast out people who seem to have your best interest at heart but who in stark reality do not.

Here’s the tell:  if all the adulation went away tomorrow, who would still be there to help you pick up the pieces and start all over again?  If you are injured, who will pick you up and help to bring you back to good health? If you lose your scholarship, who will still be alongside you when all the applause has faded? If you decide to pursue other goals, who will support your decision and still want to be an integral part of your new life?

There are no easy answers nor is there a fail-safe formula. But there is this: common sense. If you want a future which is filled with happiness and the joys that a life well led can bring, then get down to the basics. Decide what is really important for you, not for others who may want to ride your coattail to places they cannot conceivably reach on their own. When all the fluff which comes with stardom has dissipated, there will be you and those that genuinely love you for who you are not what you could have been, what you were back in high school, or how much money you have in the bank. They are people of good character whose lives do not depend on you for validation. Look for these people. Search them out. Permit yourself to explore friendships which are healthy, not harmful.  When you find those friends, those high quality friends, the ones who will be there no matter what happens, then you will be free of the sycophants and be in the position to get on with your life.